Finish Bathroom
What Makes Nice Guys Finish Last
A statement many shy men find all too real is “Nice Guys Finish Last”.
Many shy men tend to use the line “I’ll always be nice no matter what”. They are easily forgiving of others regardless of what the situation is.
We NICE guys will remember incidents where we forgive others (not always in a good light) and those incidents just pile up more and more over time.
I wondered for quite some time why overly nice guys are still nice after being ‘pushed’ around and realized it came down to one factor.
Fear is the reason for this behavior.
Nice guys finish last because from the fear comes the following reactions…
When others are disapproving of us we feel the need to be even NICER just so we don’t lose whatever is left of their approval.
(Once upon a time that was ME, back when I didn’t have a clue.)
This strategy is dangerously wrong and usually leaves you feeling like no one gives a shit about you. They can see you’ll do whatever it takes to hold on to acceptance and approval and they’ll keep as much of it away as possible. They do this so you keep going the extra mile for whatever is left. This leaves you feeling exhausted from your efforts and never knowing what you did wrong.
What you really need to be doing is the exact opposite. Show your displeasure when others do things to you that you don’t like. To make yourself more valuable you have to make YOUR attention and approval more scarce.
Have less tolerance when it comes to treading over your property, personal time and your self-respect.
But don’t do it in a way where you freak-out. If someone flakes on you all the time and they only bother to keep in touch over the internet or phone. Just cut them away, stop talking to them, stop replying to their text messages. They’ll ask why you lost in touch months later when things aren’t going well for them and they think of you as their LAST resort.
And all you have to say is “From all the times you’ve flaked spoke a lot louder than you sitting behind the computer screen typing ‘yeah we haven’t hung out in a while.’ So I left it at that”.
Depending whether it’s male or female you’ll talk different. It’s usually with females you’ll have issues on flakiness.
Learn more on why nice guys finish last and psychology techniques that give you and edge in social interactions by going to surfsocialwaves.com/blog
Hope this help!
Your friend,
Chris Chandra
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