Bar Sink
One Six One Bar, Melbourne, Australia - Review by Melissa Zheliba
Attentioon movers and shakers!
You know what they say: good things come to those who wait. I spent one Thursday testing this theory by waiting in the line for the club that dances by numbers: onesixone. Sadly, though, that foreboding word on the street that warns patrons to 'be careful what they wish for' is similarly fulfilled.
Unfortunately, the Thursday night headline 'SHAKE SOME ACTION' boasted by onesixone would be better headed with a focus on the fine print. Although attendance from a varied crowd is accepted, it seems that onesixone has what it takes to float the boats of only a niche audience. Other wayward sailors may find themselves looking overboard, with sinking hearts.
Upon reaching your destination, please take note of the necessity of an early and orderly arrival; the line is going to be long. This I was warned of, however I was not aware that in opting to be prompt and saving myself 45 minutes of improvised, insincere conversation, I automatically subjected myself to more tedious waiting until the dance floor kicks off. Appearing nothing but nonchalant to typical rules, in this regard onesixone goes by the book. It's a simple formula - the later, the more fashionable.
And speaking of fashion it seems that image is everything. If you want to look the part you are again going to have to play by the rules and get your head around the ambiguous paradox of dressing like you are allergic to anything mainstream, yet abiding by the communal, indie rocker uniform. And it's not merely unspoken law that enforces this clause, before when entering you are surveyed and politely told to "leave and get changed" if you are a male exhibiting a v-neck.
So essentially, if you actually make it inside you deserve some kind of congratulation. The rumours are true: there is a light up dance floor, but unless you are a part of a clique you prepared earlier, the colourful, flashing light at the end of the tunnel is unduly obstructed. There is plenty of seating, which is somewhat quaint for a club where the main attraction is the dance floor. Despite being spread over two levels, the atmosphere is permeated by confinement. The DJ's turntables are dominated by disco hits, which induce the urge to merrily sing-a-long as opposed to surrendering wholly to the music.
The bitter taste of insincerity, for me, could not be superseded even with the enabler of alcohol and the live band provided preceding the opening of the dance floor. You can, however, be you a sinner or a saint, go to 'heaven in a cup' for only $15, or take advantage of the $3 pots, $5 vodkas, $9 Mojitos, $5 Agwa & Skittle bombs and find paradise elsewhere. Get excited by the fact that you can get on a list and be out of pocket only $6, be you an insider or an outcast. Failing that, cough up the extra couple of bucks and test your luck... onesixone may just be your magic number.
About the Author
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By Melissa Zheliba for Melbourne Bars, Perth Bars and Brisbane Bars
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